On the topic of blind date, I have heard all kinds of stories and put forward my own views and suggestions because of the help of many friends.
Many readers often ask me: "is the pursuit of love the most important thing in life?"
Of course I think: love is the most important thing, otherwise I wouldn't say "pursue love, don't stop".
But without bread, there is no love.
We need to meet each other's most basic values match, meet each other's most basic needs of life before we have love.
In the process of matchmaking, we can clearly feel that both our requirements and criteria for choosing a mate are inseparable from the consideration of "value matching" and "whether we can meet the most basic needs of life".
The ancients said, "marry a man, get dressed and eat." this sentence shows that most of the marriage life is actually a process in which each party takes what he or she needs. .
Blind dates can only choose what we really want.
There are a lot of girls who always cry to me that "dating boyfriends often flirt with many people on Wechat."
Some girls said to me, "after the affair is discovered, the other party is always begging. I don't know whether I should leave or not."
Some even told me that after she forgave the blind date man many times, the other person's nature would not change.
So what girls who are worried about now can do is simple:
If girls think that each other's other conditions are acceptable to them, and they do like each other and want to marry each other, there are only two ways-either accept it or leave.
In fact, in the final analysis, it is impossible to have everything going well in life, but to choose what we really want.
It takes skill to go on a blind date.
With the development of the fast-paced era, the matter of "blind date" is also getting faster.
It is becoming more and more common for two people to meet for the first time: as soon as they sit down, they report their personal work, life, assets, etc., as if the two sides are not in a matchmaking situation, but a negotiation situation.
Of course, everything has two sides, and it can't be said that this kind of "fast" is bad.
Indeed, "fast" can save time for both parties to a certain extent, and it is a straightforward way to "use the least time cost to quickly determine whether the other person can develop into a long-term relationship object".
However, there are limits to this "fast". Once this "line" is crossed, it will be easy to deviate from the normal direction, and it will be very difficult for the relationship to continue to develop.
From the girls' point of view, when the development of girls and blind dates is too fast, such as having sex, what can be done to get back on track?
My answer is: only retreat.
Of course, the prerequisite is: this girl and this blind date man's appearance and other aspects match, and the other party is not a master in the love field, then it is very hopeful to pull back to the normal trend. .
The specific operations of girls can be as follows:
Step one: leave a message.
For example, "I really like you, so I can't control when I'm with you, but I really don't know how to face you now." I have never been so difficult to control a person, but now I really think we should stop contacting each other. Finally, thank you very much for meeting you. I hope I can make a better impression on you & hellip;… "
Note 2 points:
1) if there is something else to add, and the message is very long, you can edit it in other places, paste it over, and don't give each other a reply.
2) as soon as it is sent, all possible communication methods that may interact with each other will be blocked immediately. As long as the other party has our cell phone number.
All in all, leave him with only one communication channel, not all blocked.
Step 2: if the other party can not find us through various channels, if we really want to save us, we just need to wait patiently, and he will naturally find the girl directly by phone call (don't block the phone).
Also pay attention to two points:
1) if he does not call us on his cell phone, the girl should hang up as soon as she finds out that it is the other person (the voice is identified by the other person's mouth).
2) if he calls from his phone, refuse to answer directly.
Step 3: you have to wait for such a moment.
That is, he sent us a direct message, sincerely giving a clear explanation of what happened that day, which must be enough to judge his sincerity.
For example, we can only answer the phone when we receive a signal like "I'm really in love with you, you must answer my phone."
If the other party does not try to communicate with us over the phone, but all take to send a message, then we should pay attention to two points:
1) same as the third step above.
2) continue to challenge his endurance after the first point of satisfaction, so that he can't help calling us.
In any case, a "successful retreat" requires two prerequisites:
First, in terms of mentality construction, we can really put him down and have the courage to burn our bridges.
Second, it is necessary to grasp a good yardstick and opportunity.
It is easy to accept the other person too quickly to put the girl in the short choice again, while too slow and easy to make the other person feel that the girl may not love him enough, that is not good.
To show him a kind of "I love you, but I also have principles," such a feeling requires girls to have a certain EQ.
The above is the specific operation that girls can only carry out under the premise of "two people still have hope". .