Author: Xue Wenxi Editor: Jia Fangfang.
Source: marriage and Family Magazine (ID:hunyinyujiating99).
Good couples are excellent "marriage partners"
Someone once asked me, "what is the nature of marriage?"
I think it is most appropriate to borrow the view put forward by the economist Xue Zhaofeng in the Strange Theory, who believes that marriage is like two people running a business together. It sounds full of exchange of interests, but often long-term marriages have a deep understanding of this "cooperative relationship."
For married women, the first three years of life after having a child can be particularly difficult. Suddenly transformed from a girl to a mother, the child needs to be taken care of almost 24 hours a day, and all kinds of emergencies make the new mother in a hurry. If you come to help take care of the children every other generation, there will be more contradictions. Finally survived the first half of the year, returned to the workplace, and began the dilemma of running around as a working mother and taking care of the family.
Whether the first three years of having a child is a chicken-and-dog jump or a smooth passage depends entirely on the division of labor and tacit understanding between husband and wife.
In the movie Kim Ji-young in 1982, Kim Chih-young became a housewife after getting married. Her husband, Zheng Daxian, was also willing to share the housework with her. He would hurry back to accompany the children as soon as possible after work, so that his wife could have free time to rest.
It was such a husband who loved his wife. When his wife had symptoms of depression, he went to psychiatric counseling. He could not understand why his wife was just at home looking after the children.
When Zhiying was ill, Zheng Daxian said, "just have a rest and wait for the child to grow up." It is this saying that to look at the child is to rest, which pokes Jin Zhiying.
Her daily job is to wash clothes, clean up, pack the children's toys, give the children a bath and cook for the family. Hellip;… when the child is two years old, Jin Zhiying wants to go out to work, and Zheng Daxian is willing to take parental leave to support his wife. Unfortunately, he was opposed by his mother-in-law, thinking that this would ruin his son's future.
As a result, Jin Zhiying's career fell through like this, and her dream was not worth mentioning in front of her family. However, in a beautiful family, everyone's value should be recognized. The husband makes money to support the family, and the wife takes good care of the children to take care of the family affairs, which is often most easily ignored.
A good partner should be the accelerant of each other's life, he will see your value and fulfill your dream. Just like Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu, they understand each other, see each other, and support each other.
Some people say that whether a marriage is good or not depends on whether it makes us better ourselves. A pair of excellent marriage partners will see each other's value in marriage and family, and continue to improve their self-worth. .
Marriage is a community of interests in the end.
I have seen such a story:
One morning, before going out, the husband told his wife to hide the medicine at home, so that their young children would not take it by mistake, and the wife promised.
However, shortly after the husband went to work, he received a call from his wife saying that the child was playful and accidentally ingested medicine, and had been sent to the hospital for emergency treatment.
The husband rushed to the hospital immediately. Outside the emergency room, the husband saw his wife crying and said to her, "it's all right. I'm here." Only one word, let the wife's heart settled down, this sentence represents the attitude that two people advance and retreat side by side and face difficulties and problems side by side.
In reality, in such a situation, both men and women may say: "Let you put the medicine away, you do not put it away, is it as stupid as you?" The wife in the story does make a big mistake, but no matter how abusive it is, it won't help. Instead, it will make waves again. You know, it's stupid to engage in "infighting".
Internal struggle, also known as "internal friction", refers to a group of people working together, but do not cooperate with each other, but dismantle each other, the total strength of this group is less than the sum of individual strength. The price of internal friction is that one thing could have been handled very well, but the two sides did not agree and disagreed, which made things very bad.
The same is true of marriage, only when two people work together and move towards a common goal, can they lead a good life.
If they engage in "infighting", their focus is not on running a good marriage and family, but on how to win over each other. They devote all their energy to blaming and complaining about each other, turning the family into a battlefield of marriage.
In the final analysis, husband and wife are a community of interests. Both sides have a sense of teamwork, and families are less likely to fall apart. So finding a good partner and building your marriage like a construction company is one of the important conditions leading to happiness. .
He is not only a "partner", but also a "comrade-in-arms".
A good marriage is like a partnership to start a company, with shared responsibilities and risks, but in my opinion, marriage is not only a partnership to "start a company", but also a war friendship that can survive.
A relationship expert once said that marriage is when Altman beats little monsters, especially after having children.
It's like playing games in a team. you can't just blame your teammates for not being strong enough, but you need to work together between husband and wife to defeat all kinds of little monsters in marriage and get the happiness you want.
Friend Andy and her husband have become more and more like comrades-in-arms in the same trench since they had children.