Author: da Meow Editor: he Xinyang.
Source: marriage and Family Magazine (ID:hunyinyujiating99).
What was the result of the "Singles Day" two days ago?
Many friends said that they only remember "shopping spree" but not "single and lonely". According to data from the Ministry of Civil Affairs, as early as two years ago, the number of single people in China reached 240 million, which is equivalent to one in six people who are single. By 2021, the number of people who are single and living alone will be close to 100 million.
Many people feel happy to be single, many are eager to find the right person, and some netizens simply start "recruiting friends" in the comments area. .
At the same time as the popularity of the topic rose, another voice of "questioning" appeared:
Many people don't want to get married because they don't want two people to quarrel over firewood, rice, oil and salt, and they don't want to be burdened by real estate loans. However, what is more terrible than being single and quarreling is that you are as lonely as a person when you are living in a marriage.
A quarrel is an expression of "I need you."
Not long ago, Lin Xinru and Huo Jianhua went on a hot search because of a quarrel.
According to the media, the two men had an argument on the road when they went out to dinner that day. Huo Jianhua also took Lin Xinru's hand and said loudly, "what are you doing?" On the other hand, Lin Xinru covered her face and cried aggrieved. .
Then, Huo Jianhua drove away.
After the incident, Lin Xinru deleted the love photo with Huo Jianhua on social media by means of passive attack. As a result, for this series of actions, people have speculated that the two people are suspected of marriage.
As for the whole incident, Lin Xinru explained that the dispute occurred only because of some differences of opinion. At the same time, Lin Xinru's agent also immediately responded: "nothing, we do not need to associate too much." .
Although the marriage of these two people is not favored and has been repeatedly changed in the 4 years after marriage, isn't it normal to quarrel in marriage?
In Freud's view, people release their sexual energy by quarrelling and using their mouths. A psychology teacher once said that fighting is sex, because both are a way to "activate life", and anger is actually expressing needs to each other.
No wonder many married people said after seeing the quarrel between Lin Huo and Lin Huo: Oh, they can still quarrel and quarrel, and they are quite "passionate".
There is no quarrel to quarrel with, which often means that there is nothing to say. If you have to go a little deeper, it's "I don't need you anymore."
The most terrible thing in marriage is not quarrel, but alienation.
"roommate marriage" has never been a kind of humor.
Some time ago, Siwen and Cheng Lu, the "star couple" in the talk show world, divorced. Siwen told a joke about husband and wife living in upper and lower bunks in the program, which made countless netizens laugh and made her famous.
"is there a pure friendship between men and women?"
"Yes, my husband and I are."
At that time, everyone thought it was just a joke, but they really turned it into a "brother" in reality.
As a result, Cheng Lu wrote at the news of Guan Xuan's divorce: "the marriage is not there, but the brother is still there." And Siwen responded: "We are real brothers, come on." .
After a piece of congratulations from friends and netizens, I felt very wrong. Where is the word "marriage" written? Behind these relaxed and witty words, I only see full of bitterness.
When talking about this marriage, Cheng Lu once said that in many important moments, he was not with Siwen, which hurt each other's feelings a lot.
In a program, Siwen complained about Cheng Lu's "uselessness" in the joke, which made the whole audience laugh. .
However, a paragraph she wrote after she was hospitalized made people cry instantly. .
Just like Cheng Lu Siwen, many people make the marriage of two people their own life.
"I don't make phone calls during the day or send messages at night; when I have something to say, I have nothing to do with my cell phone; I have a good couple in front of outsiders during the day, and I go home to my. There is no emotional company, and there is no physical relationship.
There is a line in the movie "the greatest Father in the World": I thought the worst thing in the world was to die alone. No, the worst thing is to end up with people who make you feel lonely.
This "roommate marriage" is like a blunt knife that kills no blood, killing two people in the marriage little by little, and the whole room is filled with lonely noises.
"roommate marriage" makes all the passion wear away, so that all the love has nowhere to pour out.
Don't punish yourself with helplessness and resentment.
Last month, Luo Luo, a colleague of the department, divorced.
We were all surprised because we had never heard of her dissatisfaction with her husband, nor had we heard of any conflicts or quarrels between them.
It was later learned that after six years of marriage, Luo Luo and her husband actually had no other communication in their life except dinner every day. Just like Zhong Xiaoqin and Chen Yu in Thirty. If there is only one episode of the show that day, then they will have nothing to do for the remaining hour.
Luo Luo also tried to communicate with her husband over and over again, saying that she didn't like such a marriage. But her husband thought she was incredible: "Marriage is about living with each other, isn't it?" What else do you want? "
Luo Luo said that the reason for choosing divorce is because of the words of her husband.
A few days ago, she told her husband that she was a little dizzy and was ready to go to bed. After a while, her husband pushed open her door, and although she was awakened, Luo Luo was excited for a moment, thinking that her husband had gone astray and finally wanted to care about her.